I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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