If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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