it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
