He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
