Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
