Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
