I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
