Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
