Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
