you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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