Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
They have beer where we have blood.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
