It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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