White coat. Heels.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
