I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
