i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
