my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
