I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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