Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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