Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
