is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
