Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
