I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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