She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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