I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
