So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
