I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
