oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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