We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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