and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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