forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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