you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
