so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
areolas are like halos for boobs.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
is it fun? or sober?
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