is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
the raccoons are back...
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