He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
