Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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