you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
