i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
