Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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