i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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