I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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