I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
