i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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