you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
