and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
is it fun? or sober?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
