if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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