i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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