I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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