Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
