so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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