Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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