She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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