Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
