remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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