FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
