i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize