i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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