I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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