I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
