Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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