THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
