I have demons in me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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