No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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