This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
