i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
