I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
