So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
