I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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