ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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