yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize